Mommy's Secret Is Out......

Yes, I had a secret.  Will never needed to know.  At lest that's what I kept telling myself. 


He is already getting so big and growing so fast.  I was trying to hold on to every last feeling of having a little baby boy in my life still.  I am forced to let him grow up though.  Hubby reminds me constantly that he is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it.  That is one of the reasons I have been keeping my secret form Will.  Hubby talked me into reveling it.  What was I thinking? 


When Will was small he never slept in the bed with us, but he did sleep in a bassinet in our room.  So, when he got bigger he moved to his own room.  The problem was that Mommy slept on the floor until he fell asleep.  The "let him cry it out and fall asleep on his own" thing did not work.  He would cry until he made himself sick and then vomit on EVERY THING! 

As he got older his crib converted to a toddler bed and Mommy moved to the couch.  Now by this point Will thought that Mommy was sleeping on the couch all night.  He knew when he got up to look for Mommy in her bed room, but that never seemed odd to him. 

Well, this summer we felt the school year coming up fast and Hubby decided that Will needed to know that Mommy did not sleep on the couch.  We broke it to him real slow, but he still didn't understand that I have not been sleeping on the couch.   That night we told him good night, tucked him in, and went to our own bed.  That is when the crying began.

We tried this for a few nights, but he never let go.  He asked over and over again for Mommy to "just sleep on the couch".  He would not accept the fact that Mommy has been sleeping in her room all this time. 

After a week or so, I thought he finally understood and we where all good on the subject.  That was until I realized that he now tries to just fall asleep as soon as possible.  That means, that while I am cleaning the kitchen or taking a bath, he tries to fall asleep so he doesn't have to think about me going to bed in my room.  Silly boy!  He has now been doing this for over a month.  It works for me, but I just haven't told Hubby exactly what I figured out.  LOL!!!  The only thing that bothers me now is that he insists on a night light now.  He never had one before and until he heard his cousin say she was scared of the dark, he never was.  All that hard work of checking in on him at night with a flash light is down the drain.  I hate night lights!!!