Did you have dream of how your life would be 10, 15, or 20 years down the road? Did they turn out the way you thought they would? I had dreams of my future too. They weren't big dreams like some have. I knew I wanted to have a home of my own and a child to love. I didn't have all the answers as to how all this was going to happen, but God did.
My life didn't exactly turn out the way I thought it would. I do have a home that will be paid off in a few years, and I do have a son I love and adore, but none of it came the way I thought it would.
I expected to never be loved. I expected to never marry and be childless for a long time. As soon as I graduated high school I moved out on my own. Worked full time and went to college. I saved every penny I could. I ate little and worked hard. I didn't finish school because my funding ran out and I was burnt out. I went to school full time even through the summer and worked a job full time plus overtime sometimes.
I did buy my first truck on my own and was doing great paying for it. I knew one day I wanted a child, so started looking in to adoption. I knew it would be years down the road before anyone would give me a child. I had to own a home and prove I could support a child. So, this made me get in gear to own my own home. The sooner I did that the sooner I could adopt!
I found the home I have now on two acres of land. It was a very good price. (It was and still is a fixer-upper that was selling for as is. The land is not the best, but it would do.) I was in the process of buying my house when I met my future husband. I didn't want anything to do with a relationship at that time. My own parents where going through a bad divorce I felt I was in the middle of, and didn't think I had time for a relationship that wouldn't go anywhere. (I didn't think real love was in my future. Why? I'm not sure. I just always felt that way.)
I was pursued by my future husband and persuaded by friends to give him a little of my time. What could it hurt? I had time now that I was out of collage. So, I did. I was very surprised to find I was so comfortable with him. To my great surprise love did grow!!
After a year and a half of dating we married. We had a home to grow in because of the house I had purchased before we met and we both worked full time. We found out not long after we were married I had the first stages of cervical cancer. We didn't tell hardly anyone, even or families. We waited to see how bad it was and how long my treatments where going to last. I was very fortunate to have caught it so soon. It was taken care of in a outpatient procedure at the doctor's office. I was told not to get pregnant until they where sure I was free and clear of the cancer for at lest a year.
Because of this when family and friends asked us about having children we just always said we didn't know if we where ready yet. After about a year we found out the cancer was gone and I was given the ok to get pregnant. I became pregnant with my son who is now 3 and at the end of my pregnancy found that my body couldn't handle working 40+ hours and carrying a child. My job wouldn't work with me on the hours, so I stoped working. That was when I became a stay at home mom! I never dreamed of being a stay at home mom, but now I LOVE it!!! God again knew what to do.
We struggled that first year. We struggled really bad, but we made it. Still, it's not easy, but we are making it. Sometimes I see God's hand at work in our live so clearly. Other times I only see it after the moment has passed and I look back on it.
My life didn't turn out the way I planed, but I am happy beyond belief! I have a family, get to stay at home with my son, and am loved so much! I have been truly blessed!
Is this how I imagined my life? No. What do I think my life will be like in 10 years? I don't know, but I am positive God has a plan for me!
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