Today I attended a funeral for an infant who died in his mother. He never saw the world as we know it. He never got to meet us all. We never got to see him.
I cried and prayed for his little soul and for his parents and brother as soon as I got the news. I sent my love and prayers to his parents. I was happy to go to his funeral and help his family in any way that I could.
The thing I didn't understand was how so many others in our family felt differently than I did. So many didn't go to the funeral or had to be drug along. They would come up with every excuse they could think of so they didn't have to go. I didn't know what to say. How could they not go. Yes, it was sad. Yes, it is hard to face his parents at such a sad time for them. I try so hard not to judge those who didn't come. The only thing that keeps going through my head is how selfish they are. I don't want to think bad about them, but I am struggling with this.
How should I handle this? What advice can anyone give me? I am at a point in my life I never imagined. I want to become closer to God and behave the way he wants me to, but I don't know how I will face all those people who chose not to go. Do I pretend it didn't bother me? I just don't know. He had only a hand full of people at his funeral. Maybe this is my way of getting all my frustrations out. I know that I will pray for them as well as this family who had such a heart breaking loss. What more can I do? Thank you for reading this. Not many people will read this post just because it is about the death of an infant and is so sad.
November 13, 2009
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Such a sad post.
ReplyDeleteI think you should try to forgive the people for not coming and definitely not mention it to them.
I'm not sure if I would consider those people selfish but rather ignorant to the fact that their support was needed.
I hope they at least sent a card or flowers.
We hear about this kind of response to people with cancer. People are so worried about what to say that they say nothing! How hurtful.
I read your post and I am sorry you are going through this :( trying to understand people's choices and reasons sometimes can be a never ending stress. hope you find a way to accept and just let go. all the best :)))
ReplyDeleteTo Shelley and Thais,
ReplyDeleteThank you both so much. This has been a hard time for everyone, and just knowing that you care and found the time to help me means more to me than you will ever know. I think time to pray about this and think will help me to forgive those who didn't come. I may never understand, but I will try not to judge them. That is harder said than don though.
Oh I had to do this same thing a few years ago...my friend lost her daughter 3 days before her due date...it was such a say occasion...but I felt the same way -- how could I not go and stand with my friend and her husband and offer my support...but I also know other friends that it was just to hard for. I will pray for the infant's parents.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about their loss.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think that some folks don't know how to handle the death of an infant. Death is sad in general, usually its someone who was old or sick for awhile. When it comes to this, perhaps some folks just honestly don't know what to say to the parents. I'm not excusing the fact they didn't go,but just offering up a reason as to why some folks may not have gone.